Of Elves and Dwarves and LEP-Recons
by Minerakf
Summary: What would Holly Short do if she met a man in the woods, who attacked her with a plain old sword? And what if she couldn't mesmerize him? And what if Mulch Diggums was founds by strange elves with bows instead of guns, and hardly any magic. What if Artemis Fowl and his faithful bodyguard Butler, were found by Elrond in Rivendell. What then?
1. Artemis Fowl Dissolves into Sand

Hey, this is probably going to be very cool. I still don't know how this is going to turn out, but I hope it turns out great! I hope you guys love it! This is set at the start of LOTR, and at the end of _The Arctic Incident._ (I have read the next two books, but I hate that Butler was hurt, and can't function as well anymore, so deal with me here) Enjoy!

 **Artemis:**

Artemis allowed a smile, nodding politely at Commander Root. They were all sitting in a meeting, after Artemis had washed the foul anti-radiation foam out of his clothes of course, and were discussing what would be done with him, Butler, and the heroic convict, Mulch.

Foaly cleared his throat, "If you ask me my opinion, I would promote Holly, and let the ridiculous dwarf have his two day head start. And don't mind wipe the boy. You've got to admit, we wouldn't be where we are without him,"

"We didn't ask you," said Commander Root.

Artemis cleared his throat, turning to the fairy, "If I may, Commander Root, I would much like to keep my memory inta..."

Artemis stopped speaking, because he noticed that everyone in the room was staring at him in shock.

"What is it?" he asked, bewildered at the shocked attention he was getting. He looked down at his black suit, and saw nothing wrong with it. He looked down at his feet, and saw why everyone was staring at him. Spreading rapidly up his leg were spindly cracks, glowing with a bright, golden light. His shoes glowed fiercely, and his legs were starting to look like dried, cracked clay. The golden light seeped up his chest, and he stared in shock as his arms took on the unearthly golden glow.

Then, every eye turned to Butler, when Holly gasped, "Butler! Look! It's happening to you too!"

Artemis wheeled around, to find his faithful bodyguard also looking like shards of pottery, kept in place by a glowing light.

And then Artemis experienced the strangest feeling. It felt as if he was sinking, and in shock, he saw his legs dissolve into pure white sand. A moment later, he sank into oblivion, and he could only assume that he had turned into an Artemis-sized pile of sand on the floor.

 **Butler:**

Butler watched in horror as Artemis dissolved into white sand. He tried to run over to...somehow...save Artemis. The truth was, he had no idea what was happening. And even if he could have stopped Artemis from dissolving, he couldn't move. He looked down at his legs, just as Artemis' face, smiling peacefully, dissolved.

He immediately felt like he was falling, falling into light. The air around him shimmered, and he looked on with a strange calmness, as his massive body dissolved into fine white sand. The last thing he saw was Mulch shrieking, and hopping around, his feet glowing golden with the strange cracks, and the fairy Holly's wings dissolving into shimmering particles.

And then everything was white. White light, and he was floating amongst whorls of glowing, golden dust. He felt at peace with the world. Was this heaven?

 **Artemis:**

He was floating, floating through gently swirling currents of golden dust, in a pure white emptiness. He felt calmer than he had ever felt before, even calmer than after a meditation session with Butler. And then Butler was there too. Butler held out his hand to him, and Artemis took it with a relaxed smile. At that very moment, Holly Short appeared, along with the dwarf, Mulch.

And then the whole world started spinning, swirling like a hurricane of glitter. Winds gusted around them, and Artemis felt himself being torn away from Butler. Holly was whisked away, to who knew where, and Mulch zoomed away in the other direction. Artemis was nearly torn from Butler, but his bodyguard's strong arms wrapped tightly around him, and they spun away together, into the bright light.

With a loud whistling noise, they hit the glowing white sphere that was lighting the place they had appeared in, and instantly, they were no longer floating.

His sense of calm left him, as they plummeted through the blue sky. "Ahhhhh!" he screamed, and Butler cried out in shock, wrapping himself more around Artemis' body, trying to shield him for when the impact came. All Artemis saw was a glimpse of white marble whizzing towards his face, and then everything went pitch black.

Artemis woke a few seconds later. Instantly, he groaned in pain. He felt like he had been ran over by a large truck. He winced and opened his eyes. Butler huge body lay motionless beneath him, and white dust rose into the clear blue sky above him. The sun blazed overhead, and he shifted to look around him. They were lying in the wreckage of what appeared to be a marble dome. Butler's immense weight had broken the rock, and the intricately carved rock lay in pieces around the huge man's prone form.

Artemis rolled off of Butler, and made himself stand. He knelt beside the man, and checked Butler's pulse, sighing in relief when he found that his friend was just knocked unconscious. Butler appeared to have broken a few of his ribs on the right side, and his right arm was bend at an unnatural angle beneath him. Artemis concluded that the man's arm and shoulder were shattered badly. He must have hit the dome on his side, and shielded Artemis from harm with his beefy shoulder. Even so, Artemis deduced that he had broken at least one rib, and had dislocated his shoulder. His entire right arm was numb, and his shoulder burned like fire.

He groaned, and forced himself to stand, taking large gasps of air. The fall had really winded him. He needed to get help for Butler though. He might have internal bleeding, and if that was the case, he wouldn't last long.

He took note of their surroundings. They were in a courtyard, and a crushed stone bench sat nearby. There was a fountain a little ways away, and a tiled path led through beautiful marble arches. Honeysuckle bloomed on vines wrapped around the arches, and flowers grew in carefully tended gardens. The air smelled sweet. This place was clearly a place of peace. But where were the people? And where were Holly and Mulch?

One of his questions was answered a moment later. A group of figures in flowing grey robes dashed around a corner. Each had a delicate wooden bow, and when they noticed Artemis and Butler, they drew arrows on them, approaching slowly.

As they came closer, Artemis noted that they had long hair. Most had flowing gold hair, and wore two neat braids, tucked behind their ears. Their ears...Which were pointed. So they were elves... But what kind of elves were these? They did not have LEP-Recon badges, or gear. And they carried bows, not guns. What was going on here?

"Excuse me?" he called out loudly, putting his hands up to show he was unarmed. The same couldn't be said for his unconscious bodyguard though. If these elves decided to attack him, Artemis would have to use one of the man's many assorted weapons.

"What has happened here? Who are you?" said one of them, obviously the leader. He was one of the few with brown locks, and he had two single locks, done up simply, hanging on either side of his face. The rest hung simply in the back, and a glittering silver band delicately encircled his brow. He had an air of elegance and majesty about him, and he radiated authority. His brow was high, and his face unblemished.

This elf strode forward, until he was standing right beside Artemis and Butler, and peered down on them, for he was very tall. Artemis noticed that his perfect skin glowed with a gentle light, like he was emitting magic.

Artemis didn't enjoy it one bit, but he felt that honesty would be the only solution here, so he simply said, "I don't know. Who are you? Where are we?"

He thought a little more, then added, "Can you get us to a doctor? I'm not too bad, just a broken rib and a dislocated arm, but Butler is dying. Please...sir...help us!"

The elf frowned ever so slightly, then said, "Doctor?"

Artemis stared at him. Did this elf not know what a doctor was?

"Healer!" he cried exasperatedly.

The elf smiled, and said gently, his voice like a tinkling melody, "Yes, I see. I am Lord Elrond. You are in Rivendell. I will help you and your large friend. He is very injured though, and may take several hours to fully mend. After that, he will need several days of rest."

"Thank you, kind sir," Artemis said. His sight was going blurry, and his arm had gone from a dull throbbing to a piercing burn. His vision blurred, and he felt his knees buckle out from underneath him. He felt himself gently lowered to a bench with kind hand, and vaguely saw the elf, Lord Elrond, muttering words in a different language. Not Gnommish... Something else, completely unknown to Artemis. What was going on here? He never got to find out, because he felt himself relax, the pain fading, and he sank into slumber.


	2. Don't Underestimate a Sword

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 **Holly:**

Holly hit the orb of light going extremely fast, and with a flash of bright light, every turned to blue. She was falling rapidly through the sky, trees whizzing up to meet her.

"Ahhh!" she screeched, flicking on her wings. When had she put on her wings? Well, she was glad they were there, because otherwise, she would have fallen to her death. The mechanical wings buzzed to life, and she noted that they were **_Peregrines_** , the newest and best edition, created by yours truly, Foaly.

Wow... The wings were absolutely silent, not even emitting a slight purr. These cost a fortune to get, and now she had her hands on them. This was a dream come true, for someone like Holly.

She might have screeched with joy, but her voice died in her throat when she saw movement, and heard voices from the foliage below. She shielded herself, and prepared to dive down and face whatever had brought her here, when suddenly, Foaly's voice rang out in her head. The connection was terrible, and Foaly kept cutting out, but she could make out, "Ho..ere are...u? What's goi...?...tion is terrible...losing...ignal...Hol...? Holly!?"

The connection died, with a buzz of static in her ear, and she froze in fear. She was beyond Foaly's help now.

She followed the voices on the path beneath the trees, building up her nerve to confront the humans and ask for help. Help from humans. Who would have thought! Almost fifteen minutes passed this way.

Then, to her relief, her visor turned on, and Foaly appeared on the screen in front of her. He was still blurry, but his voice came through well enough. He was leaning over his control systems, peering at the many monitors, and he gave a loud cry, "Yes! We might just have made connection!"

The centaur turned to face her, and said, "I don't know if you got this video Holly. I hope you did. It's quite disturbing actually. Holly, you aren't on Earth anymore. You are nowhere in the universe, at least, according to your helmet locator. Be careful Holly. It took ages to get this message through. I won't be able to send you advice. I can, perhaps, just maybe, degrade your iris-cam to version 5.0. You won't have ultra-violet, or radar, but you will be able to control it with your mind. And, just a warning, it shocks worse. But hopefully you'll be able to...get back here. Good luck Holly Short, you're on your own now..."

Holly felt cold fear spill into her heart, and she clenched her hand on her Neutrino 2000. She also noticed that she had another holster hung from her waist as well. A refurbished softnose, like the ones the goblins had used in the rebellion... What in the world was going on here? Foaly had said...she was in a different world? How?! Why?! What had happened?!

She decided she needed answers. Maybe those humans could answer them. She could always mind-wipe them afterwards. She had some mind wiping tools clipping to her belt as well. She seemed to have everything. It was as if, some crazy god had loaded her up with gear, and sent her here to accomplish something.

"Alright then..." she muttered, and descended through the trees to get a better look at these humans.

She peered closer at the group. There was a very tall man, with tangled, dark hair hanging around his face. He was unshaven, and his eyes glimmered from the shadow cast on his face by his hood. He strode purposely forward, and three children, with curly brown hair, followed hurriedly after him. They all looked around fearfully, casting nervous glances into the trees. Two of them were skinny, and one was very plump. The plump one was laden with a ridiculously large pack, and led a small horse, which was carrying a ridiculous amount of baggage as well. What on earth did they need so much stuff for?

The road was made from packed earth, and went on for a good ways through the forest. They had a long way to walk, wherever they were headed to.

She drifted slowly to the ground, landing without a sound. These wings were top quality...

At least, she thought she had landed without a sound...But the man somehow heard her feet touch the soft ground beside the road, and his head whirled around. Now that she was closer, she noticed that he was wearing strange, old-fashioned clothing, and so were the children. And the children had strangely grown-up looking faces, and were barefoot. They had hairy feet! What in the world?!

What shocked her even more, was when the man flipped back his hood with one hand, and with the other, drew a sword from its sheath on his waist.

He looked around, pointing his sword not a foot from Holly's chest. She held her breath, waiting for him to leave. But when he looked straight at her, he squinted so hard that his eyes seemed to go blank, and he called out, "Who's there? Reveal yourself, demon!", and thrust his sword so close to her chest that she stumbled back.

In her shock, her shield flickered out, and she stumbled back, tripping over a tree root and landing on her behind in a pile of wet leaves.

 **Aragorn:**

Aragorn thrust his sword at the flickering air, and a person flickered into view. A woman, in the strangest clothes. They were black with bulging objects, and hard surfaces visible in places. She had the oddest helmet, with a little window in the front of it, where her eyes were. And even stranger, she had tiny, round things protruding from her back made of a material unknown to the man.

He jerked back in astonishment, and lowered his sword. "Who are you?" he stammered, genuinely at a loss for words.

But that was his fatal mistake. He had let down his guard, and the strange woman took advantage of that, pulling out a black device that had glowing green lights on it. She quickly pointed it at each of the halflings in turn. Without even touching them, the object caused the hobbits' eyes to roll back in their heads, and fall to the ground senseless. How?! Magic!

Aragorn whipped out his sword, and hit her on the top of her helmet with the flat of his blade. This was easy enough to do, considering she was about the height of a tall hobbit. He practically towered over her.

But she seemed unfazed by the blow, and her helmet did not dent at all. She aimed the strange weapon at him, but before she could use it to knock him unconscious, he knocked it out of her hand with a deft stroke. It clattered to the ground several yards away from them. She went for it, but Aragorn was swifter, and he tackled the strange woman. The two rolled over, and he ended up on top. The woman struggled fiercely, managing to punch him in the eye. Ow... That would be a black eye later. But she stopped moving when he put his sword to her throat.

He stood, keeping the sword above her neck, and glaring down at her, said deadly quiet, "You will take off the helmet and tell me who you are if you value your life."

She hesitated for a moment, and he pressed the sharp tip of the sword a little bit harder into the black cloth that even covered her neck, and she put her hands in the air. He pulled back a little, allowing her to remove the helmet. What he saw shocked him. She was a woman, yes, that much was obvious. But what he hadn't seen through the strange helmet, was her ears. She was an elf!

 **Holly:**

She slipped off her helmet, and the effect was instantaneous. The Mud-man gasped, and his eyes widened. He cried out, "You are an elf!"

She rolled her eyes angrily at him, but he surprised her by putting his sword back in his sheath and pulling her to her feet. "My lady, I apologize, I did not know..." he said after she was standing, and he inclined his head slightly.

What? He acted as if her being an elf was not strange? What on earth? This wasn't good. Did he know about the People? Was that why he wasn't acting shocked? He was studying her gear, with a puzzled look on his face. Her clothes were extremely different than the simple leather and cloth clothing they wore. Leather... Stupid Mud-men, always killing cows for leather.

All she knew was, this human had somehow overpowered her with a sword...A SWORD! How?! She was a LEP-Recon officer, not a baby sprite! He needed to be mind wiped. She decided that the only way she could do this without her Neutrino 2000, was to use the _Mesmer._ She sighed. She only used the _Mesmer_ when she absolutely had to. It made her feel guilty to control the poor humans. She wouldn't have that problem with this one though.

When she spoke, it was layered subtly with the _Mesmer_ , _"Don't worry... I am...a friend..."_

"A friend?" asked the man, his eyes glazing over slightly. "Of whom?"

 _"Of you! Don't you remember me?"_

"No... I think I would remember if I met someone like you..." said the man, his eyes clearing.

Shoot. This Mud-man was resistant. She would have to go at it stronger.

This time, she layered the _Mesmer_ as heavily as she could, and her voice echoed out richly, _"We are friends. You trust me with your life. Go to sleep now..."_

His eyes had almost fully glazed over, but suddenly, they snapped back open, very alert, and very, very angry.

"Witch! Your voice puts a spell on others! You are working for Sauron!" he bellowed, lunging at her again with his sword.

Five minutes later, her hands and feet were bound, and everything was confiscated from her. He had even taken off her LEP suit. She was almost afraid that he would find her iris cam, he searched so thoroughly. But he did not around her ears and eyes, which puzzled her. Shoot, he didn't even check the pockets of the clothes she had under her LEP suit. Not that she did have anything of use in there. Just an extra iris cam and a collapsible first aid kit. That, and two extra nuclear batteries for her Neutrino 2000, which of course, she didn't have any more. But what were the bulges in her left pocket? Surely that wasn't the extra iris cam in its case. No, there was evidently more in there. Someone had put other supplies in her pocket. If only she could reach them. But her hands were bound...Suddenly, a plan popped into her head...

The Mud-man then insulted her further, by tearing up a dirty Mud-man shirt, thick with grime and sweat, and gagging her with it.

He used another strip to blindfold her. Well, there went that escape plan... The taste of dirt and Mud-man filth was sharp in her mouth, and she resisted the urge to gag. There was no escape now. She had been defeated by a Mud-man with nothing more than a simple sword, some rope, and strips of cloth. He had used that sword in such a manner that people on Earth probably had never seen before. It was obvious that the sword was his weapon of choice, and he had mastered the art of sword fighting.

But who was he? Why did he think she worked for someone named Sauron? And why did the _Mesmer_ not work on him?!


	3. Why are you Hiding in the Bushes?

Thanks for reading! Please review! Enjoy this chapter!

 **Mulch:**

Mulch couldn't believe what had just happened to him. He had been sitting in the meeting with the others, while the council decided whether he would be allowed the two-day head start Julius Root had promised him, or whether he would be sent straight to jail. Of course, if they reached that conclusion, Mulch could see three easy ways out of this room. No way was he just going to go politely to jail, without putting up any sort of fight.

Unfortunately, Artemis and Butler had started glowing. And then Holly had started glowing, and everyone started dissolving into sand, including him. Then there was this place, full of glittering swirly things of glitter, and everything was white. He had floated, no, catapulted towards an glowing ball of white fire. Then, he just randomly was falling out of a random tree, in a random forest, in a random place. Where...What? What was going on?!

He stood, brushing the leaves out of his beard, and picking up a particularly large beetle and putting it in his beard for eating later. He was in a brightly lit forest, with small oak trees, and not much else. There were a few gentle hills, and towering snowcapped mountains loomed on the horizon. Other than that, he was just standing near a packed earth path.

Suddenly, his sensitive whiskers picked up vibrations underfoot. He hid among the trees, and waited to see what was causing the thumping. A moment later, he found out that the source of the consistent pounding was a group of people riding horses. As they came closer, he noticed that they wore strange, simple clothing, and had bows and quivers strapped to their backs. But even stranger were their figures. They were lean and tall, and seemed to glow with a gentle light.

Then he saw their ears. Their ears were pointed, and neat golden braids kept their long locks from getting in their eyes. They were elves, but not any sort of elves he had ever seen.

They thundered past on their extremely swift horses, and Mulch gave a sigh of relief. If they were LEP officers in disguise, they obviously had their infrared turned off, or they would have spotted him. But what sort of LEP officer didn't wear a suit and the standard LEP helmet?

He immediately regretted his sigh of relief, because somehow, he had no idea how they could have possibly heard it, but somehow, they heard that sigh. Even over the noise that the horses were making with their hooves, they heard that tiny little sigh.

They wheeled their horses around, leaping off and striding near to where he was hidden. Mulch evened his breaths, crouching down in a bush. They could never spot him here!

But apparently, they could.

"Why are you hiding in the bushes, Master Dwarf?" asked one teasingly.

Mulch sighed. They were good... Too good. He could just tunnel away, but there was the matter of trees roots. Tree roots as thick as these made for stomachaches later. Besides, these didn't look like LEP officers. Maybe they were just...civilians? No... their clothes were too weird.

" Are you LEP officers in disguise? Because if you are, well, trust me, the ears give it away," grumbled Mulch, pulling himself out of the bush.

"LEP officers? I know not what that means," said the one who had spoken first.

Elves that didn't know what the LEP was? How was this even possible?! No! This was no happening! This was ridiculous...

"Um...Um...Uh..." he stuttered, at a loss for what to say to these odd elves.

"See Legolas, I told you dwarves are strange creatures," said one of the elves, smirking at the one who had addressed Mulch.

"If I may ask, Master Dwarf, what are you wearing? And...your teeth?"

Mulch snorted. How were his clothes weird. Their clothes were weird, not his. This was just regular dwarfwear. What they were wearing was certainly NOT regular clothes for elves. And their hair, was long and gold. They looked like girls almost. It was giving him a headache trying to understand what was going on.

"My teeth are perfectly average for a dwarf, thank you very much, and so are my clothes. You are the ones wearing clothes that are strange for your kind," he replied.

At this, one of the elves chuckled, and said cheerfully, "Oh, indeed? Only if you compare us with those from Rivendell, dwarf. How would we go about in the trees wearing flowing grey robes, hmm? "

Mulch didn't understand what Rivendell was, but he was just now realizing that he was more than likely in a different world, with completely different elves and dwarves. Elves that had bows and arrows, and lived in the trees. And apparently, at least the elves of Rivendell, wore grey robes... And everyone here spoke eloquently. Mulch wondered if they could even speak Gnommish. So he said 'Holly is a Fairy' in Gnommish, just to test it out. They raised their eyebrows, and Legolas asked, "What language are you speaking? I am not familiar with it..."

"Oh, sorry, it's Gnommish. Course, you fools probably don't even know what that is!" he smirked.

"You are correct in assuming that, Master Dwarf. However, you may keep your insults to yourself,"

"I'll do with my insults what I want to do with my insults. Which is throw them at everyone. So there!" replied Mulch, folding his arms across his chest and smirking widely. The elves paused for a moment, trying to work out what he was saying, and then Legolas muttered to himself, "Insolent dwarf..."

Mulch sighed, "Okay, the thing is, I'm lost. One second, I was talking to some of my...elf...friends. Oh, there was a human boy, and a large human too... Have you seen them? Anyways, one second I was there, the next, I was here,"

The elves laughed at his story, and Legolas said softly, "Alright, Master Dwarf. You are in the forests outside of Rivendell. That is where we are headed, for an important council meeting. Since you are here, you might as well come with us."

This caused an uproar of laughter from the group, and Mulch felt like there was a crucial bit of information they weren't telling him.


	4. You Will Sit and Talk with me or Else!

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 **Artemis:**

Artemis awoke feeling very refreshed and strong. He sighed happily. He could almost give up adventure, and stay here his whole life. But one does not just appear in a world unknown to them to relax. They were brought here for a purpose.

He got up, and found that Butler was already awake, meditating at the foot of the white bed. The whole room was white in fact. The window was open, and clean, invigorating air was flowing freely about the room. This place was amazing...

When they opened the door the room and stepped out, they found themselves in a corridor of stone tiles and marble arches. Artemis looked up, and saw a waterfall cascading from a small cliff face, into a peaceful pool. Benches encircled the pool of crystal clear water, and a very short, elderly man, with curly white hair, sat on one of these benches, humming a peaceful tune. He was wearing a button up vest over a plain white shirt, and he was wearing no shoes.

Artemis frowned when he saw the hair growing on the man's feet, but decided not to ask questions. He approached the man slowly, as not to scare him. The man's eyes were closed, and a peaceful smile lit his face.

"Sir?" Artemis asked. The man's eyes opened, and when he saw Artemis, he cried out, "Oho! A young man! Why, I haven't seen a man since...my adventure...yes... It has been a good year,"

Artemis was confused. What did this man mean, he hadn't seen another man for a year? He spoke almost as if, he wasn't a man. And after everything Artemis had been through, it wouldn't be that hard to believe. Now he was noticing how strange the man's ears were, and humans aren't normally short with hairy feet.

"You aren't human...are you?" said Artemis slowly, not wanting to insult the man.

"Of course not! I'm a hobbit of course! Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire. Pleased to meet you." said the...hobbit, shaking his hand vigorously.

Artemis paused, not used to such exuberant greeting, and said awkwardly, "Nice to meet you too... Bilbo Baggins. I better be going now, unless you can tell me where Elrond is?"

"Of course, of course!" said Bilbo, but instead of telling him where to find the elf, he yanked Artemis' arm and made Artemis sit on the bench beside him. "But, you can't leave yet! You haven't even told me your name! Sit, sit, and tell me about yourself!"

Artemis was befuddled, and embarrassed. He didn't particularly want to talk to this crazy man who said he was something called a hobbit, and had hairy feet. "Artemis Fowl,' he blurted, and stood up quickly.

"So, Artemis, are you from Bree, or Gondor? If I had to guess, I would say you were from Bree..."

Artemis had no clue what Bilbo was talking about, and he was relieved when Butler lifted him off the bench and set him far away from Bilbo's grasp.

Bilbo stared at his bodyguard, who just glared at the elderly man and said, "Now that's quite enough..."

"Y..yes...Master...What may I call you?" stuttered the frightened 'hobbit'.

"Butler," the man grunted.

"Yes Master Butler," muttered Bilbo, shrinking away from Butler's imposing figure. Butler turned, and escorted Artemis away, sharing a knowing glance with his young friend.

Then, loud, young voices rang out through the corridor, and three children, with curly, light brown, slightly orange tinted hair, came racing around the corner. They wore the same garb as Bilbo, and they too had no shoes on, showing their extremely hairy feet. A tall man, with dark, wavy, and very tangled hair, rounded the corner in a brisk trot, smiling as he watched the hobbits sprint up the hall. Then, he saw Butler blocking the corridor, and his eyebrows raised, his smile fading quickly. Surprisingly enough, he did not seem scared at all, only slightly impressed.

The other 'hobbits' however, were not paying attention in their hurry to get wherever they were going, and the thinnest one, with the lightest brown hair of them all, ran straight into Butler's massive form.

"Oof!" the hobbit cried, falling backwards onto his rump, like the silly characters portrayed in comics. The other one who looked almost identical to the one that had just fallen over, tripped over his friend, and sprawled out on the floor with another "Oof!"

The last one, plump, with more orange tinged hair than the others, managed to skid to a halt before he joined the pair on the floor. The man approached, amusement flickering across his expression ever so slightly, and Artemis noticed he had a large sword in a sheath at his waste. He wore green and brown clothes, very simple, and he was muscular. It was obvious that he had experience travelling on foot. At least, to Artemis it was...

The 'hobbits' looked at Butler in shock, and the two on the floor scrambled to get away from him. Artemis almost laughed. Butler had that effect on everyone. Everyone but this man, it seemed.

"And who might you be?" asked the man, walked up to Butler. He was standing so close, that Butler could have bashed him in the head without even unbending his arm. The man was almost as tall as Butler, and Butler was pretty tall.

"Butler," his bodyguard grunted for the second time that day.

"Strange... strange..." murmured the man, shaking his head in bewilderment, and turning to go.

"Wait, what is strange?" Artemis asked loudly.

"Three strange people in one day... That is all..."

"Three? Who else did you see?" he asked eagerly. Maybe it was Holly, or Mulch.

"That is none of your business, young man," the man answered curtly.

"It probably is..." Artemis retorted angrily, glaring at the man.

"I suppose I'll tell you...While I was escorting the hobbits to safety, one of them was gravely injured, and had to be rushed here quickly on horseback. I stayed behind to guide the other three halflings to safety. I caught a strange woman stalking us. She knocked the hobbits unconscious with a strange black magic, and tried to put a spell on me. She did not expect me to resist, however, and I managed to subdue her. She is to be presented to Lord Elrond, who will decide her fate. "

"Her fate?" gulped Artemis. If this man had overpowered Holly, then they were in trouble...

"Yes," grunted a man, coming around the corner. He had lighter brown hair, and wore garb with a depiction of a white tree. He had a round shield with the same tree on it, and a sword in a sheath at his waist.

The man continued, "She hardly deserves a hearing, after attacking the halflings. If I would have caught her, she would be dead on the road by now...Besides, everyone knows she'll be found guilty and executed in mere minutes,"

Artemis gasped in anger, and Butler growled.

"I'll have you know that's our friend!" Artemis cried, rage gleaming in his eyes. He felt Butler's heavy hand on his shoulder, and forced himself to take a deep breath. He needed to be calm about this, or he would just put all three of them in more danger.

"You know her?" asked the man with the dark hair, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Who are you, and why are you here?" demanded the other.

"Yes, why did Elrond let you into Rivendell? For you are merely a child."

Artemis felt his face go red, and he clenched his jaw, "You may view me as but a child, but I assure you, my intellect is vastly superior to yours," he said with a smirk. He watched amusedly as shock wrote itself all over their faces. The light haired one opened his mouth to say something, but Artemis cut him off, "I would also advise you to keep your mouth closed, before you utter foolish words..."

He opened his mouth once more, then thought about it for a moment, and closed it again.

"Now, if you would kindly escort me to the hearing. I think we have a friend to rescue..."

"Alright..." muttered the light haired one, gesturing for them to follow him.


	5. Elrond is held Hostage

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 **Artemis:**

As they walked, Artemis wondered what had happened for the other man to be able to kidnap Holly. He certainly didn't have any technology to use...Could he had possibly defeated her with a mere sword?

He coughed, trying to break the silence, and asked awkwardly, "What may I call you two?"

The dark haired one frowned at him, and Artemis knew he was about to lie.

"And you," he said with a pointed glare at the man, "Don't bother lying, I'm trained to detect lies,"

The man's expression twisted for less than a second, then he smiled, and said, "Please, just call me Strider. It is what I go by in the villages of the west, and what the halflings call me,"

"Strider it is...And you?" Artemis prompted the other man. The man smirked, and announced proudly, "Boromir, son of Denethor, Steward of Gondor!"

"I asked for merely your name, not also your father's occupation. Steward of Gondor... Where is the King of Gondor?"

"There is none..." muttered Boromir darkly. Artemis noticed Strider's eyebrows quirk a little when he said this, but other than that, the man did not react to Boromir's comment.

"I see..." he murmured, not quite convinced this was true. Something was going on here, and he needed to find out. They way they were acting, as if...they couldn't trust anyone...something had happened. Something major...

 _War..._ Artemis guessed, and immediately he knew that he had struck the truth.

"Aha... I see... You are facing war, are you not?"

"Yes...Where are you from that you do not know of the darkness?"

"I am from another planet, or possibly another dimension. It is more likely the second because how else would you speak English?"

"English?" asked Strider, followed by Boromir crying in shock, "You are not from this world?"

"Indeed, I am not. I was in a meeting with my friends, one of which is the elf you hold captive, and suddenly, I'm falling out of the sky with Butler. He was badly injured, but thankfully, this Lord Elrond arrived to the scene in time to save him. He's still recovering from a broken ribcage..."

"So you do not have any idea how or why you are here?" Strider murmured quietly, obviously deep in thought.

"Not in the slightest," Artemis confirmed. The man sighed, and said, "Well, the hearing is starting in a moment. And indeed, elves started filing into the room. A few odd dwarves walked in as well. Lord Elrond stood near the doorway, and then the hobbits, and an elderly man in a grey robe with pointy grey hat followed them. He had a staff, and he looked older than time and wiser than his years. He resembled Elrond in that trait at least, though he actually looked old to go with it.

Everyone sat, and Elrond stood, "Where are the representatives from Mirkwood forest?"

"Late, as usual!" supplied another elf, and Elrond sighed, and sat back down.

"Well, I suppose we might as well get the elf woman's hearing over while we are waiting. Fetch her from her room.

Five guards strode out of them room, and a few minutes later, they brought back a kicking and struggling LEP officer. Holly's hand were bound tightly, but not cruelly behind her back, and her ankles were bound as well. Not only that, but she was gagged and blindfolded. Artemis guessed that they had found out the hard way about the _Mesmer._

"Holly!" he cried, rushing forward. Holly stopped struggling, and cried in shock, "Artemis? Help! These crazy Mud-men are going to execute me!" Through the gag, it sounded more like, "Armis! Helmph! Thmph crahee Muh-meh arh goimph ho ehocute me!"

Artemis got the point though. "Butler!" he cried, and the bulky man swung into action, racing toward Lord Elrond, and drawing a gun. He put the gun against Elrond's right temple, and growled, "Release her, or I'll shoot!"

"You'll shoot?" asked a dwarf confusedly. In fact, the entire room seemed completely clueless as to what was happening.

"I'll shoot him in the head if you don't drop her and back away slowly. You have ten seconds..." Butler warned.

"How could you shoot him? You have not a bow, nor do you have arrows," said someone, ducking out of the shadows from behind a pillar. It was another one of the long golden haired elves, but this one wore clothes close to what Strider wore, clothes meant for hunting and moving quickly over many terrains.

Artemis and Butler both gaped at him however. Did they not know what a gun was? Then he realized. They were in a different world, and this world apparently still was in the Medieval time period, or close to that at least.

Artemis sighed, "I did not realize you would not know of guns. What Butler has is called a gun. It uses a spark to ignite gunpowder, a very flammable substance, which releases a burst of energy. The burst of energy launches a metal ball from the gun at very high speeds, faster than you could ever shoot a bow,"

The new elf stared at the gun in Butler's hand, then frowned, and said, "I do not believe you. Prove it."

Butler was ever happy to demonstrate his accuracy with a gun, and without even seeming to aim, fired lazily at a crow that had been cawing annoyingly.

A bang resounded through the courtyard, and the bird sprang from the branch. Unfortunately, Butler knew the sound would scare away the bird, so he had fired above the bird. The bird didn't even realize it's mistake until it was dead. It launched itself straight into the bullet's path, and with a thud, the small bullet hit the bird directly between the eyes, continuing out the other side with a small burst of blood.

The bird's body fell from the sky, landing with a quiet thump on the courtyard stones.

Butler blew the smoke from the gun tip, making Artemis snort, and returned the weapon to Lord Elrond's temple.

Elrond had paled visibly, and everyone in the crowd was frozen, shocked into silence.

Artemis strolled over to the bird, and picked it up by its limp little wings, holding it up to show the coin sized hole in its head.

"That'll be him, if you don't unbind Holly immediately," he threatened, his voice deadly serious.

The elves holding Holly, tore her blindfold off hurriedly, ungagged her, and with little knives, cut her bonds. Then they tossed the still dazed fairy on the ground and scrambled away from Butler and Artemis in fear.

Artemis rushed over to Holly, checking for injuries. She didn't have any of course, but her magic was almost spent. She had already been extremely low, and she had used the rest to keep herself hydrated. Her lips were parched, and a droplet blood dribbled from her split lip., and Artemis growled when he realized they had not given her anything to drink for a good day or two. She was dazed and exhausted, and she had angry red marks where they had bound her.

"Are you kidding me?!" he bellowed. "If you're going to take someone prisoner, you give them food and water!" he yelled at them.

Then Lord Elrond stood, shoving the gun away in an extremely bold move, and strode confidently over to where Holly lay. An expression mixed with suspicion, anger, curiosity and pity flickered across his face for a millisecond, and then he returned to his emotionless state again.

He frowned slightly at the Strider, who lowered his head in shame, "Why did you not give her water? Is that any way to treat an elf, even one working for the Enemy?"

Strider shook his head slowly, and muttered, "You have my apologies, little Master. I indeed tried to give her a drink from my flask, but she spat it out the first time, and the second time she bit me,"

Artemis stared at the man for a second, Strider's words taking a little bit to sink in, and then the normally calm and collected Artemis threw back his head and burst into uncontrolled laughter.

"Holly, you are one aggressive fairy!" he snorted, earning a weak snort from Holly, and then she paled.

Artemis paled a second later, and clapped a hand over his mouth in horror. He had lost his mind, laughing like he was a ridiculous little child, and so carelessly revealing that Holly was a fairy. What had he done?!

"A fairy?" repeated Strider. "Fairies do not exist, and even if they did, she would not be one. She has no wings," he said with a snort.

Then Artemis looked down, and realized Holly was no longer there...

"Where did she go?!" cried Strider in anger. "Stop her! She will tell the Enemy of the Ring! Stop her!"

Elrond paled, and yelled to his guard, "Secure the perimeters! Let none through until we have caught the elf...fairy!"

And the rest of the guards surrounded Artemis and Butler, advancing with swords in a tight circle of death. Butler got ready to take them all out, but one managed to sneak up behind him with Holly's Neutrino 2000, somehow managing to figure out that you pulled the trigger, and luckily for him, it was on the highest setting. Butler crashed to the ground like a rock, and Artemis cursed. If only Holly had turned the safety on before she was caught, they wouldn't have been able to fire it. He groaned, and held up his hands in surrender.


	6. Holly is almost Executed

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 **Holly:**

Holly had managed to stumble over to one of the waterfall spilling into a fountain underneath. The water was crystal clear, and probably ice cold too. But Holly diverted the flow into her face, washing the grime off of it, and taking a long, thirsty drink. It wasn't clean, not even close, but without her water purifier, this was the purest water she was going to get. When that man had given her water, it was warm, stagnant water. Filthy water, in a leather flask. She shuddered, remembering taking a thirsty gulp, and then spitting it back out in horror. And then the Mud-man had tried to make her drink the nasty stuff, so she had bit him. He deserved it. Did he even have a clue how many germs were in that stuff?

She then started making a plan on how to get her equipment back. She was pretty sure that Artemis and Butler did not really have to upper hand, and they were completely at the mercy of the strange elves until she got her weapons back. She crept back, hiding behind a pillar, and heard the one named Elrond shouting, "... until we have caught the elf...fairy!"

She couldn't believe that Artemis had slipped up so easily. She should try to use the _Mesmer_ on the other elves though. It was against the law to use the _Mesmer_ on other fairies, but these elves were just elves, not fairies. One of them would give...

She crept closer, hiding behind a large clay pot with shrubbery in it. She put up a shield, and wished that she could get to an acorn and some ground, do the ritual, and replenish her magic. Unfortunately, the courtyard full of people and elves was in between her and the oak trees, and she didn't have her wings. Or her weapons. Nothing, except for the Iris cam, which didn't even have radar. She was in a bad situation.

She wondered if Foaly had managed to make her Iris cam controllable by her thoughts. Ah, why not?

 _Zoom 4 times_ She thought as hard as she could. To her surprise, and horror, the Iris cam did zoom in four times. But unfortunately, she had not been prepared for the painful zap it gave her, and she gasped.

Thankfully, no one heard, as they were all arguing about something. Artemis and Butler were gone, taken away somewhere or another.

"Why don't we use it? Use the enemy's weapon against him? Give the Ring to Gondor!" said a Mud-man exasperatedly.

She looked about the scene through her Iris cam, and saw that there was now a simple golden band, resting in the center of a stone pedestal.

"None can wield it but the Dark Lord himself," said a dark haired man. Dark Lord? Weren't Dark Lords things in fiction stories, not in reality. This almost made Holly laugh. Fairies were also things of fiction, but that didn't mean they weren't real.

"And what would a Ranger know of it?" sneered the lighter haired individual.

Suddenly, one of the elves with long blonde hair, and tight fitting clothes stood angrily, and cried, "He is no mere Ranger! He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn! You owe him your allegiance!"

Holly didn't know who Arathorn was, but the man obviously did. He gaped at the man named Arathorn, and whispered, "This is Isildur's heir?"

"And heir to the throne of Gondor!" added the blonde haired elf. That raggedy looking man was a king? A king? And they acted like kings had complete control here still. She really must be in a different world, a world still in Medieval times apparently.

The man gaped some more, and then steeling his expression, said angrily, "Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king!"

Holly rolled her eyes from behind the pot. Typical Mud-men...

She decided to quit listening to the elves and Mud-men bicker, and crept through the halls, going to find Artemis and Butler. She stayed in the shadows, in case these elves had as keen an eye as the man she now knew to be Aragorn. At least it was a king that defeated her. Because being defeated by a king was better than being defeated by some random guy.

No, she was just trying to make herself feel better. Now humans would find out about the People, and it was all her fault. Or would they? They already seemed to know of elves, and they didn't even believe her when she said she was a fairy. And anyways, they were in a different world, how could they possibly hurt the People. She was the only one in danger here. She was the only fairy in this world.

That thought made her feel crushed and alone. She felt tears boil up in her eyes. Never to see Commander Root again. Or Foaly. Never to walk through Haven, or ride a shuttle on a flare. Never... She sniffed, and blinked back tears, determined not to cry. She had a mission. She had to rescue Artemis and Butler from whatever prison they were being held in, and then get her stuff back. After that, she had no clue what she was going to do.

 **Mulch:**

The elves told him some basic things about the elves of this world. Finally, they arrived at Rivendell. It didn't appeal to Mulch's tastes, too much marble, and not enough nice clay to chew on.

They then departed for some secret meeting of all the races, and sadly, Mulch was not asked to participate. They felt like it was necessary to lock him in a room, and post a guard outside the door. Mulch had no idea why, but it wasn't as if he couldn't escape. He snorted when he saw that the room had a window. A window! How could you possibly expect to keep someone prisoner in a room with a window? These elves were idiots.

Mulch plodded over to the window, and snorted again, when the window even had a latch. The window swung open, strangely enough, and then Mulch was out. He jumped out, landing with a painful thud in a hedge a story below. Then, he contented himself with stealing shiny candleholders and even some precious gems.

He was going down yet another empty hallway (where was everyone?), when he heard voices. It was coming from around a corner. There were three elf guards standing in front of a locked door, and inside the door, two people were speaking to each other.

And Mulch knew who they were. By a stroke of luck, he had found Artemis and Butler!

He stuffed the silver candleholder into his pocket, along with three small rubies, and strode forward confidently. He was glad he had a little gas left in him from some clay he had digested earlier. Just in case these guards wouldn't let him speak to his friends.

The guards frowned, and one asked, "Master Dwarf? Why are you not at the council?"

Then they noticed his teeth, and rudely asked, "And what happened to your teeth? What are you wearing?"

"My teeth are perfectly fine, and so are my clothes!" grumbled Mulch, "I came here to talk to the humans you are keeping prisoner."

"You are friends with them?" growled another guard, and their eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"You could say that..." he said with a grin, showing them his large teeth, as if daring them to argue.

"Alright Master Dwarf. I do not know how you know them, but be warned, they are very dangerous, even unarmed,"

"Understood," said Mulch with a grin, and they unlocked the door for him.

He stepped into the room, and the two looked up at him in shock.

"Mulch! How did you get here?!" cried Artemis happily.

"Same way you did, my little friend," Mulch chuckled, paused, and then asked, "You want to get out of here?"

"Yes... Just so you know, Holly is here too..." grunted Butler.

"Holly's here?!" cried Mulch happily.

"I wouldn't be so excited about it if I were you. She's why we're back in this room. She just ran off, and everyone who's not at this special council is guarding the perimeters. We're trapped. Getting out of this room will do nothing," Artemis quickly explained.

Mulch frowned, "Sure it will! We could steal stuff!"

"Mulch," sighed Artemis, "Do you ever think about anything BUT stealing?"

Mulch grinned, completely unashamed, "Nope!"

"How about we spy on this secret council. We could learn important information. It might just benefit us..." said Artemis, his face slowly lighting up with ideas.

"How do we get out of this room?" asked Butler, frowning.

Mulch stared at him like an idiot, "Same way I got out of my room, you numskull, the window"

Butler growled, "Did you just insult me, convict?"

Mulch paled, and sputtered, "No! No! You are very smart!"

Butler grinned satisfied that he had frightened Mulch, and Mulch just glared at the ground.

A few minutes later, they were all out, though it took quite a effort to squeeze Butler out of the window.

"Let's go... Um, Artemis, you lead the way."

Artemis obliged, and the three crept through the shadows and shrubbery in the direction of the courtyard.

And then Artemis ran flat into someone, or something else. The two figures fell to the ground with muffled thumps, and they scrambled away from each other in shock. "

Then the person that Artemis had ran into stood up, laughing and pulling Artemis to his feet. It was Holly!

"Holly, why on earth did you run off like that?" scolded Artemis.

"You didn't have control of the situation, I'm sad to say. And besides, look what I have now!"

The LEP officer stepped into the light for a moment, revealing that she had gotten all of her gear back.

"Great. We were going to go spy on the secret meeting, does that sound like a good idea to you?" asked Artemis.

Holly looked in shock at Artemis, and Mulch understood why. Artemis hardly ever asked anyone else what they thought. He was changing, practically turning into a different person.

Holly finally managed to say, "Yes, let's go," and the group crept through the shadows, headed for the secret meeting, not knowing what they would discover.


	7. Thirteen-An Unlucky Number?

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 **Aragorn:**

He shook his head angrily at Boromir; the Gondorian still did not understand that the Ring could not be used against Sauron. The Ring was Sauron... It would serve no other master. Around the Ranger, arguments raged like wildfires, and he heard Gimli cry out, "I would die before I saw the Ring in the hands of an elf! Never trust an elf!"

Aragorn huffed, and was about to say something back, because he had grown up with elves, when he heard the tiniest of sounds from several feet behind him. "I will take it!"

He turned around in horror as Frodo called even louder, "I will take the Ring to Mordor...though...I do not know the way..."

His heart plummeted. The little halfling had no idea what he was signing himself up for. Aragorn knew very well that they had very little chance of success, and even if they did manage to destroy the Ring in the fires of Mt. Doom, they were not going to be making a return trip. The Ring's undoing would most certainly cause the volcano to erupt, and the land of Mordor would be smothered in fire and ash. Whoever cast the Ring into the fire would be destroyed, his companions along with him.

But Aragorn was not afraid of death. He could not let the hobbit bear this burden alone. So he stood, and called out, "If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword!"

Then, to his surprise, his friend Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, stood as well, and announced, "And my bow."

Not to be left out, the dwarf Gimli, son of Gloin, stood and cried hurriedly, "And my axe!"

Aragorn was not expecting Boromir to want to help destroy the Ring, but the man surprised him by standing as well. "If it is the will of the council, Gondor will see it done."

Suddenly, a hobbit came running in shouting, "But surely you won't send him alone, Master?!" It was Sam. Elrond did not seem surprised that the hobbit had been spying on them. Aragorn wouldn't put it beyond him to have known the halfling was there the entire time.

"No, indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you. Even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not!"

Sam blushed to the tips of his little ears, and stood beside Frodo, muttering something that Aragorn couldn't make out.

Obviously, not even Lord Elrond was expecting what came next. Out from behind columns came Pippin and Merry, rushing up to stand in front of the group, screaming, "You're not leaving without us! You'd have to tie us up and put us in a sack to stop us!"

Elrond shook his head and let out a slight chuckle when Pippin said, "Besides you need people of intelligence on this...mission...quest...thing...

Even Aragorn couldn't help but smile a little when Merry said, "Well, that rules you out, Pip!"

Elrond looked at the group of volunteers, and nodded slowly, "Nine companions...You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring.

Suddenly, a voice spoke from above their heads, "You sure about that? Cause if I were you, I'd accept a bit more help..."

There appeared to be nothing there...But... A slight shimmering from where the voice was coming from.

The elves could apparently see right through the elf woman's magic, because they pointed, gasping and crying out. This caused the fairy elf to gasp as well. Aragorn guessed she wasn't used to people being able to see through her magic.

"You...You can see me?!" she blurted.

"Clear as day, Fairy maiden," said Legolas with a slight smile.

Then the fairy...elf... materialized, hovering in mid air above the courtyard. She had all her clothing an weapons back, and Aragorn only just managed to hold in a curse.

And then three others appeared from behind columns. The young boy, Artemis, his large friend, Butler, and strange Dwarf.

Artemis stood by his guard, who had a large 'gun' out, and the dwarf had another one of their strange weapons.

The fairy-elf herself had the same black weapon that caused you to fall unconscious, but it was still in its sheath.

"Who are you?" he whispered, shocked that she had gotten through all of the elves guarding the weapons.

"Oh, are you wondering how I got my weapons back? Simple, if you have a dwarf, that is,"

The strange dwarf with large teeth grinned, pulled a live beetle out of his beard, and ate it.

Gimli stared in horror at the dwarf, and then grunted, and said, "Well, at least tell us your names!"

"Holly Short," supplied the fairy. "LEP-Recon officer, and yes, I am an elf, but most generally call me a fairy."

"Mulch Diggums, and yes, I am a dwarf. But I'm also a fairy. Just gave up my magic,"

"Magic?" asked Legolas, curiosity showing clearly on his face. "What kinds of Magic?"

"Yes, magic, sadly, I'm running out. I have to do the Ritual, shielding for that little bit of time sucked me dry.

"Ritual? How do you do this...Ritual? And why did the dwarf give up his magic?"

"Well, there are certain rules a fairy has to follow, or they lose their magic. One of those is that a fairy cannot enter a household without permission. Since you brought me here, that was essentially giving me permission. Mulch, on the other hand, hated doing magic, didn't really have much magic, being a dwarf and all, and he had a tendency to steal things. So he gave up his magic, and robs people."

"He is a thief?" said Aragorn with a suspicious frown.

"Yep!" said Mulch, and pulled three little rubies out one of his many pockets.

Aragorn frowned, and then the dwarf pulled an entire silver candleholder out of a pocket. Aragorn realized it was the candleholder in Elrond's study. Elrond was looking angrily at the dwarf, and with a huff, the elf swiped the things from the thieving dwarves hand.

"Course, I used to be a criminal...I actually got to know Holly because I kidnapped her,"

Holly snorted, "It was a lot more complicated than that."

"You kidnapped her? Why?" asked Gandalf.

"I wanted the hostage ransom... A metric ton of fairy gold, to be precise,"

"Yeah, and that's how I got to know the three of them as well...I was in prison at the time, and they fetched me out to break into Fowl Manor...And then the whole goblin uprising thing, with Opal Koboi, yeah, that was a disaster..." muttered Mulch.

Aragorn's mind was reeling. This group clearly had many stories to tell, but he realized now that they couldn't possibly be spies of Sauron. This was too complicated of a story for someone to make up, and Legolas would know if they were lying...

"So, are you offering us your help in our quest?" he asked.

"Yes...What did you think we were doing, trying to sell you something?" grumbled Mulch.

Elrond sighed, rubbing his temples, and said, "Alright, I suppose I must...Thirteen companions...You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."

"Where are we going again?" asked Pippin, and everyone groaned.


	8. Tales of Old

**Holly:**

Holly seriously needed to do the ritual. She was running on zero magic whatsoever. She had already been running out when she had met this Aragorn mud-man, which was probably why her attempt at using the _Mesmer_ on him had failed so badly.

And boy, that Mud-man was either ridiculously brave or just plain stupid. He cornered her in the hall when she headed to purify some water from the fountain and do the Ritual, and put his sword to her throat.

"I do not trust you Fairy-Witch. I do not trust you at all. Mark my words, you even get close to the hobbits and I'll slit your throat. And don't even think about using your spells to attempt to ensnare me or anyone in my home again. I heard the spell in your voice, persuading Lord Elrond to trust you."

Her eyes widened and she protested this, "I didn't use the _Mesmer_ on Lord Elrond! I'm too low on magic!"

It was the truth, but Aragorn didn't believe her, "You lie. I should kill you here and now for what you did to the halflings. You could've killed them and then the Dark Lord would have the Ring this very instant."

"What? It shouldn't have hurt them! It was set on the lowest setting! And what are you talking about, the Dark Lord? You need to explain, you seem to forget that I'm not from this world."

"It was a waste of precious time. I would not expect you to understand the danger we were all in, with all your magic tricks," he growled.

"Uh...sorry? Seriously, you can trust me, I wasn't going to hurt you. I was just going to...you know what... it doesn't really matter...How were you in danger? " she asked, her curiosity now perked.

He sighed and lowered his sword, "The halflings were being pursued by some of the darkest creatures known to man. They are called the Nazgul, the nine Ringwraiths, ancient kings of old bound to Lord Sauron by their Rings of Power. They follow Sauron's every command, and are hunting Frodo because he has the One Ring, for Sauron yearns with all his being to retrieve it. If it is returned to him, he will be whole once more and he will lead his armies into Middle Earth and cover the land in a second darkness."

"Second darkness? Whole once more? So he'd been defeated already?" Holly

"Indeed. It is a sad story...There was a great battle of orcs, elves, and men on the slopes of Mount Doom, the fiery chasm in Mordor from whence Sauron's Ring came. Only there it can be destroyed. It looked like the light would prevail, when the terrible form of Sauron appeared.. The Dark Lord slew Elendil, King of Gondor, and all hope seemed lost."

As he talked they walked. They arrived at a painting and a sword on a cushion that was broken into many pieces. He pointed at the painting. A figure of a Mud-man was on his back, holding up a sword in defiance toward a imposing figure of black with a spiky helmet.

"Isildur, son of the King, took up his father's sword and cut the Ring from Sauron's hand with the shard or Narsil. This is that blade," Aragorn continued.

He indicated to the broken sword on the cushion.

"And thus, the enemy of the free peoples of Middle Earth was defeated. But part of him lived on in the Ring. Lord Elrond tried to convince Isildur to destroy the Ring, but the greed of men was too great. He took the Ring and named it his heirloom. It betrayed him to his death, for the Ring and Sauron are one. It passed out of all knowledge for two thousand years until..."

"Wait...Whoa, whoa, whoa...Lord Elrond does NOT look two thousand years old..." Holly said.

"Elves are immortal in Middle Earth. How are you not?" He asked in shock.

"Uh...Can't really answer that. All I know, is that the oldest of the People died at 2000 exactly, and he was a dwarf, not an elf."

"The People? And dwarves live longer than elves where you come from? How strange indeed...And you are a Fairy, but you can...remove your wings?"

"The People are the magical population that live under the surface in the Haven. And my wings...well, I don't expect you to understand this, but the truth is, they're mechanized, not real wings. Supposedly all fairies USED to have wings, but now only the only People with natural wings are the sprites, lucky dogs..." Holly said with a snort.

"Lucky dogs? What does that...Oh, never mind...I will never understand you and all your strange phrases..." he muttered.

" Artemis, I know you're there, I can see your feet!" Holly yelled suddenly, marching over to a bench and yanking a thin material off of the annoying kid. Mulch was huddling underneath it with him, and Artemis groaned, "I told you this would never work Mulch. When have I ever been wrong?!"

"Uh...How about when you underestimated the People?" The dwarf said with a smirk, and Holly laughed, "How much did you hear, or will Aragorn still have to repeat himself?"

"All of it. Don't worry, we were there the entire time, you weren't in any danger of having your throat slit. We saw Aragorn...oh wait, I seem to recall that he called himself Strider earlier...hmm...Anyway, we saw him follow you down the hall and we decided to see how it would play out." Artemis glared at Aragorn pointedly and added, "I don't appreciate being lied to _Aragorn_."

"It was not a lie. I said that that the men of the west and the hobbits call me _Strider_ , and I asked you politely to _call_ me Strider. I did not say that was my real name."

"I asked for your real name, and the hobbits call you Strider because that is the name you gave to them, is it not?" Artemis retorted.

"I suppose, but I myself did not give myself that name. It was first bestowed upon me by the men of Bree while I was still a Ranger of the North. I did not give them my name, so they took to calling me Strider, because of my height and how easily I strode. I became used to it, so it was the first thing that came to mind when the halflings asked my name."

"Halflings and hobbits are the same thing right?" Mulch asked, picking a spider out of his beard and crunching it with his massive teeth. Aragorn looked immensely disturbed by Mulch's eating habits. Before the Mud-man could answer, Artemis said, "Of course Mulch, I figured that much out from the start. Hobbits are half the size of regular humans, therefore, it would make sense to call them halflings."

"Oh.." Mulch said with a burp.

"And _Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and heir to the throne of Gondor,_ don't think that I don't know that's not all there is to it. You don't like your ancestry because you're...related to Isildur?," Artemis guessed, and knew he had struck a chord. He had guessed right yet again.

 **Aragorn:**

"And _Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and heir to the throne of Gondor,_ don't think that I don't know that's not all there is to it. You don't like your ancestry because you are...related to Isildur?," Artemis guessed confidently, and Aragorn had to admit, he was impressed. The child seemed to remember everything that was said within his hearing! He repressed his awe, but Artemis somehow saw it anyway, and this boosted his confidence. The boy continued, "Oh...I see it now...You are afraid Aragorn...You hid from your people and became a...Ranger...because you were scared of becoming King. And now you are afraid that you are weak like Isildur because you share his blood. You are afraid that you will succumb to the lure of power and take the One Ring from Frodo."

Aragorn's eyes widened in shock. This _child_ had figured out his darkest secret, his deepest fear, in less than a day.

"H...h...how?" was all that he could say.

"Oh, I'd get used to it if I were you," Holly said with a smirk. "Back on Earth he's what the Mud-men call a child prodigy."

"Excuse me?" Aragorn asked and Holly rolled her eyes.

"In other words, he's smarter than anyone standing here," Mulch grunted proudly.

"No, no, I understand what you mean by 'child prodigy' though that _is_ an odd term. What are 'Mud-men?'"

"Oh!" Holly laughed, and explained, "That's how the People refer to you humans, living in the mud, you know. You guys are so unsanitary you know?"

"Pardon? Living in the mud?" Aragorn asked, acting offended.

"Hey, you're not one to argue about the cleanliness of humans...When I found you, you were filthier than a troll."

"Why...I have never been so insulted by a maiden..." Aragorn said in mock horror.

Holly continued her rant, "And why you kill cows I have NO earthly idea. You really deserved to get bit, trying to force me to drink that nasty sludge."

Aragorn actually looked slightly offended now, "That was the only liquid I had on me, Fairy. Would you rather have gone thirsty?"

"Uh...I DID go thirsty, and yes! I would die before drinking that horrid liquid. And that gag you made...I mean, seriously, I'm never going to get that Mud-man taste out of my mouth...Yech!" she shuddered.


End file.
